That is all.
That is all.
I suck. I’ve been trying to hard to post something a few times a week, and I just haven’t done it. I have no excuse. So tonight you get a list, no pictures. Sorry.
1. I do have several posts that I’m working on. I’m having difficulty denoting “zombie” when all my figures are of the stick variety (have I piqued your interest?). I plan on figuring that out before Saturday.
2. [REDACTED I haven’t had a vacation in 2.5 years. [REDACTED]
3. I don’t count the 4.5 months I was unemployed last year as vacation. I was too worried about buying groceries and not becoming homeless to enjoy not working…
4. It’s ten pm and I just made dinner. Chili mac and a glass of wine. Because I’m classy like that.
5. You know when classy backfires? When a certain unnamed fast food restaurant decides to call their milkshakes “cafe” drinks and change the cup around to one that doesn’t keep the lid on and it explodes all over your kitchen when you grab it. I cleaned everything… but the floor is still sticky in random places…
6. I’m studying for the GRE. I didn’t have to take it for my first round of grad school, but now I do if I want to go further. Fun fact: I love math. I got my degree in theoretical mathematics way back in 2002. And yesterday, I missed nearly every question on the dang practice test that required the usage of basic geometry. I now quite literally have flashcards that quiz me on the area of a circle. It’s so sad. I haven’t used this stuff in 15 years.
6. I already did 6. And now I’m too lazy to delete this second one.
7. Would it be bad to eat an entire box of mac and cheese?
8. Probably. Especially since I added a can of chili. Culinary master, I am. (note: why doesn’t WordPress recognize chili? I think the last word it didn’t recognize was burrito. I think WP has serious issues with bean-based foods)
9. I won’t be posting anything tomorrow. Bears play the Pack tomorrow night. If you don’t know what that means, I’m not sure we can be friends. I will be at a bar with people for whom this is an equally important issue.
10. It’s now ten after ten. I still have to do laundry, bake zucchini bread and some cookies (don’t ask why. I have no idea why I do these things) and maybe granola if I have time.
11. I was going to stop at 10, but then I just wanted to say this: I started making vocab flashcards for the GRE last night (I know, you can buy them. But I am poor. And cheap. So I’m buying cheap-o notecards and using the list in my book). Anyway… I have almost 200. And I’m not even all the way through the E’s. Seriously?!?! There’s only like 30 questions in the verbal section! Grrrr.
That’s it. Sorry you had to read this. Maybe I’ll post a little something tomorrow. But it definitely won’t have zombie stick figures in it.
You ever have one of those days… where you work for 17 hours straight at two different jobs, drink a bunch of diet coke to stay awake even though you’re not really supposed to drink caffeine, eat nothing all day except some goldfish crackers and 2 pieces of zucchini bread while typing on the computer because you don’t have the time to spare to get up for real food, finally go get a sandwich at 3, only to bring it back and drop guacamole-covered lettuce straight down the front of your shirt during while trying to eat during an all-staff meeting, and have to actually leave to go into the washroom to clean guacamole off the inside of your shirt?
It’s been one of those days.
Remember these guys?
The Yoga Jerks… we’ve had some issues. Under the first owners, they left a note outside my door, telling me my TV was too loud during their meditation session on Tuesdays, from 6:30 pm to 8:00 pm, and could I please turn down the volume at this time. Now, I had just recently moved in, was aware of how thin the floors/ceilings were (because I heard my upstairs neighbor constantly), knew that the TV was probably pretty loud so I could hear it over my jet engine furnace, and wanted to have a good relationship with the neighbors since I planned on being here a while. So I left them a charming little note telling them that of course I would turn down the volume at that time. I even included my phone number and told them they could call me if I was making too much noise.
I really liked the first owners.
This past summer, it changed hands. It went from “Yoga Studio” to “Yoga and Movement Studio”. I really wish I still didn’t know what that meant.
We had a mishap early on, where my kitchen sink overflowed and due to a structural issue in my kitchen, water flowed straight into a tiny gap that apparently led straight into their studio. Oops. I was extremely apologetic and the owner was very nice about it after I explained what happened. It happened once more (dishes shifted in the sink while the water was warming up and I wasn’t in the room) in the early winter. As soon as I realized what had happened, I ran downstairs to apologize. In the midst of me apologizing profusely and offering to come down with my own towels and clean it up, the staff person simply turned around and walked away. That’s when they officially became the Yoga Jerks. And apparently when they decided to go to Passive-Aggressive War.
Later in the winter, our sometimes absent landlord had not gotten around to shoveling in front of the building. So apparently, the Yoga Jerks decided to do it themselves. This is the result:
In case you can’t tell, that’s the entire front of the building, the entire width of the sidewalk, shoveled completely clear… except for the 3-4 square feet directly in front of the door that leads up to my apartment. There’s no way that’s an accident. Sure, it’s not the Yoga Jerks’ job to shovel the walk… but only a real asshole is going leave 1 1/2 shovelfuls of snow in front of the door. Message received, Yoga Jerks.
And then the gonging started. They have a giant gong that, according to their website, is “relaxing”. I can’t possibly imagine how. They like to use it in the evenings, when I’m at home trying to chill after a long day at work.
That damn gong vibrates my entire apartment. It sounds like they are right in the kitchen. But I was going to be a good neighbor, so I dealt with it. I even tried using it to my advantage, thinking I could get free “gong baths” (seriously, that’s what they call it) out of this.
Ok, so it’s not the most relaxing thing to me… but it’s just a little gonging, right? I can live with this. This is still better than living above a nightclub or a bar or something. Well, if you give these Yoga Jerks an inch, they’re gonna take a mile. A mile of Zumba-ing.
What’s that? You don’t know what Zumba is? I didn’t either… not until the Yoga Jerks started it. According to Wikipedia, Zumba “combines Latin and International music with dance in an effort to make exercise fun”. According to Mairin, there’s a lot of stomping, yelling, and loud music with a heavy beat designed to piss off your neighbors.
They Zumba in the evening when I’m trying to watch TV:
They Zumba on Saturday mornings after I’ve had a late night out:
And they do not respect the time-honored tradition of apartment neighbors telling each other to shut up:
I just couldn’t take it anymore. Every time I heard/felt their stupid Zumba music, I found an online Polka station, turned the speakers toward the floor, cranked up the bass, and blasted Polka music into my floor boards. I specifically chose Polka because the beat is so different from Zumba beats, and I was hoping to trip them up. Also, I like Polka. We were in the full throes of the Passive Aggressive War.
I broke first. It was a Wednesday night a couple weeks ago… I got home from work at about 6 pm, ate a small dinner, and went straight to bed. I was scheduled to work the midnight shift at my 2nd job that night, after which I would go directly to my day job in the morning, so I wanted to squeeze in a few hours of sleep before I had to start getting ready at 10. Right after I fell asleep, they started Zumba-ing.
I pounded on the floor, exhausted. No dice. They probably couldn’t even hear me.
So I decided the time for passive-aggression is over and I was going to confront them face-to-face.
Let me remind you that I’d been asleep. I was in my pajamas, which meant I was wearing a giant pink T-shirt that says, “Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder”. So I threw on a bathrobe and my flip-flops, pushed my sleeping mask (what? I go to sleep in the daytime, it’s a necessity) up on my forehead and headed down.
I stomped downstairs, still mostly asleep but thoroughly pissed off, and attempted to enter the Yoga Jerks’ studio (through the street entrance, mind you)… it’s locked. As I was about to start pounding on the door, I suddenly realized that I was standing on the sidewalk in my bathrobe, hair all over the place, sleeping mask on my forehead, and a wild look in my eyes. I do not want to be that person. So I hurried back upstairs (before I attracted any more attention on the sidewalk) to call and left a polite message asking them to turn it down.
I don’t remember everything I said. I imagine it was mostly incoherent, since I’d just woken up about 8 minutes ago. Then I tried to go back to sleep.
You know what a pillow over your head does in cases like this? It drowns out all ambient noise, such as the fan, traffic, my little radio playing ocean sounds… everything except the damned Zumba beats, which are now clearer than ever.
Apparently, my voicemail successfully got the message across that I was pissed though, because I got a call back as soon as the class was over. I didn’t answer, since I was unsuccessfully trying to sleep for the last hour before I needed to start getting ready. The gist of the message was: “We’re allowed to have classes until 9 pm, according to our lease, so tough break… it must really stink to live about a dance studio. We’ll try turning it down a bit”.
Thanks Yoga Jerks.
But then they actually did turn it down. Last Saturday morning, after I’d been out very, very late, their Zumba did not wake me up. When I’m awake, I can still hear it. It’s still a little annoying, but this is totally doable. And I’m so relieved, I could cry.
Now, if we could only figure out how to turn down the gong.