Every morning, I commute a little over an hour by bus and L train. It’s a long ride; it’s even longer on the way home during rush hour. So I have to come up with ways to entertain myself.
I read books that make me look smart.
(note: while I do read smart books, I have never read Pride and Prejudice. That title came up when I googled “Smart People Books”).
I also sometimes secretly read books that I make fun of other people for reading. I make sure the covers of these books are never visible so if someone I know is on the bus, I can’t get called out on my hypocrisy.
Lots of times, especially if I’m on my way to my day job after working my overnight job, I sleep. I probably drool.
Frequently, after sleeping on the bus or train, I jerk awake about 3 stops before I’m supposed to get off, in a complete panic that I’ve missed my stop and am somehow headed back the other direction again. This is never true. I’m not the most rational person right when I wake up. I’m also frequently not actually awake when I think that I’ve woken up.
[Update: I must’ve jinxed myself. This morning after I wrote this, I woke up at the announcement that all passengers must exit the train since we were at the end of the line. My stop is definitely before the end of the line. Awesome]
Lately, probably because I’m mid-way through season 3 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix, I’ve found it highly entertaining to imagine that everyone I see wearing an enormous cross either around their neck or emblazoned on their clothing is actually a vampire slayer.
Finally, and I think about this probably much more than is healthy, I run through scenarios in my mind in which a zombie outbreak occurs in my train car. This way, if and when the zombie apocalypse occurs, I will be able to remain calm and get myself to safety. See, in the movies, it always starts with a virus:
So by the time zombifying occurs, I’m well on my way to the connecting doors of the cars and escape:
Since zombies lack the motor skills to open doors and climb to the top of the train car, I’ll be safe at least until we get to the next stop:
The plan after that is a whole other post. But trust me… I do have a plan.