So I’ve been planning a post for a while now that illustrates some of my ridiculousness, but I’m pushing it aside tonight for an update on the Yoga Jerks. There aren’t any pictures. Pictures will take more time and I feel like I’ve been slacking. So you get this, and maybe some shorter posts in the next few days, while I work on the illustrated one.
All is not well in apartment-land. A few weeks ago, the Yoga Jerks decided they no longer had to watch the volume. I tolerated it… to a point. I also used a tone generating program that my friend told me about, in order to really annoy them with a constant bass tone. Hehehe. Then, two Wednesdays ago, it all boiled over again.
The Yoga Jerks decided to turn the volume ALL the way up. I couldn’t turn on my TV or stereo to drown them out, because it would’ve been loud enough to seriously piss off my upstairs neighbor. Also, the competing noises from my apartment and their studio were enough to drive me up the wall. I banged on the floor – no response. I went downstairs and banged on their back door – the music was so loud they apparently could not hear me. I went upstairs and left them a voicemail (also, PS Yoga Jerks: you might want to invest in a phone/voicemail system that allows people to select the option of hearing directions, parking information, and frequently asked questions rather than leaving them all in your voicemail greeting. Just a thought).
“Hi, it’s Mairin, your upstairs neighbor. I called a few weeks ago about the noise level and you turned it down for a couple weeks and it was great. Tonight, it’s so loud that I can’t hear anything in my own apartment except for your music. And my floor and furniture are vibrating. I understand that you may not realize how loud it is, but due to the acoustics in the building, it’s actually louder in my apartment than it is in the stairway even. You need to turn down the volume. You need to turn down the bass. This will be the last time I call you, because from now on I’ll be contacting the landlord directly. Thanks, bye.”
I got no response from them that night and wasn’t surprised. I assumed that threatening them with the landlord would not really go over well. The next day when I got home from work though, I had this little email waiting for me (they had my email address because I emailed them after the last time to say “thanks for turning it down”, trying to be a decent neighbor).
I am so sorry about last night…I have told the instructor to keep it down and usually I am there to make sure she does, but I was not there last night….you should be aware that the noise is not just on your side…we can hear your tv and you walking and running down the stairs and letting the front door slam as well…..unfortunately there is no insultion (sic) between our floors. I have asked John to do something because my heating bill is huge because all the heat goes up to your apartment….please feel free to call [the landlord] and maybe he will do something if you ask…I haven’t had any luck…other than that you can let me know when you do sleep and we can try to schedule the quieter classes around that and again feel free to enjoy free yoga and dance at our studio….other than that what else can I say except I guess we need to put up with each other’s noise because the rent is cheap! Best, [redacted]”
I’m going to break this down here to give myself chance to blow off some steam. Because I will not respond to them.
1. I actually rarely watch my TV (no, I’m not some cerebral, non-tv-watching hipster… I just prefer to watch it on the computer, and it’s much quieter that way) – and when it does suddenly gets loud, I actually mute it because a) I don’t like loud noises (duh) and b) I don’t want to annoy the neighbors.
2. On the rare occasion I risk a broken neck on my ridiculously steep stairs by running down them, it’s either before 8:00 am, or after 11:30 pm, when I am running to catch the bus to work. You are not there at either of these times.
3. Being able to hear me walk down the stairs, while perhaps annoying for the 5 seconds 1-2 times a day that you hear it, is a sound that regularly occurs in apartment buildings. There is really nothing I can do about it. I do need to exit the building at certain points in the day…
4. It’s a heavy door. It occasionally slams. But I’m sure that 1 second of noise 1-2 times a day is really wearing on your nerves, so now that I know it bothers you, I’ll try to keep it down because I know this is an apartment building with other people in it and I want to be considerate (see how that works?!).
5. Speaking of apartment buildings, surely you’ve noticed this is one? Which means I’m not the only one “running down the stairs” and “letting the front door slam”. Would you like me to pass on your concerns about the stairwell echoes to my upstairs neighbor?
6. I’m very sorry to hear about your heating bill. I’m sure all the heat is coming up to my apartment, where I spend all winter lounging around in tank tops and shorts because of all the free heat I’m getting, and your bill has absolutely nothing to do with your door that opens all day long, your giant windows that you don’t seem to know how to seal properly with plastic, and the fact that you are basically a giant empty storefront with no furniture or carpeting. No. I’m sure it’s all coming up through the floorboards to my tropical paradise on the second floor. Asshats.
7. Why on EARTH would I want to come down for free classes? I hate you. Have you not picked up on this yet?
8. Finally, I’m not sure how much you pay the landlord per month (because it’s none of my damn business), but my rent is not friggin’ cheap. And even if it were, I don’t actually have to put up with you. I was here first. And you are assholes.