I’ve been browsing the “matches” section of one of the local, hipster-friendly papers. And have decided I’m entirely too old for this bullshit:
I lived in England for 6 months after I graduated from college 12 years ago, and still have a bit of an accent, so I hope you’re okay with that. Who doesn’t like an accent, am I right? Anyway, enough about my cosmopolitan yet unpretentious past – let’s talk about the future. Our future.
I always said I’d never do online dating so this is all a bit strange and new, and endearingly awkward, to me. It might be a little hard to tell from the fact that I’ve been doing this for 4 years and haven’t even bothered to update my ad or my pictures, but it’s just because my sensitive soul has a hard time with this cold and imperfect way of meeting people.
Language is like the air that I breathe, or like food. I chew on words; I digest them. Some days I just go ahead and spread them on bread and have a peanut butter and adjective sandwich.
I guess you could call me a hopeless romantic, just puttin’ it out there, looking for the love of my life. Nowadays, everyone’s so focused on themselves – I want to be focused on YOU. But not in a creepy way, even though I come across like that at first. And while I may be in my mid-30s, I’m really just a big kid at heart. I’m looking for someone who wants to be a kid with me, a woman with a child-like sense of wonder at the world around her, with whimsy and spontaneity to match my own. I’m really looking for someone who won’t notice that I haven’t matured in the past 15 years.
Also, you have to be hot.
Edit: I’m paraphrasing… for the most part. The originals are actually harder to understand, so I’m just making an attempt to clarify what they’re really trying to say…